Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

Chapter 1 describes the beginning of Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman’s friendship. Sow and Friedman met at a Gossip Girl viewing party at their mutual friend Dayo’s apartment. This seemingly serendipitous encounter was underpinned by intention.

Aminatou had met Dayo through work. Even though the two women looked nothing alike, colleagues often mistakenly called them by each other’s names. Aminatou was curious to meet the “mysterious other Black woman” in the office, and their initial hangout was marked by an instant rapport (4). They talked about African diaspora issues over bowls of ramen and found that they had the same taste in movies and music. Dayo thought to herself that Aminatou would really get along with her friend Ann, so Dayo sent Ann a message about organizing a Gossip Girl viewing party so the two would have an excuse to meet.

In recounting the story of the night they met, Sow and Friedman share that it is difficult to remember who they were before they knew each other. They acknowledge that this is because Big Friendships become deeply embedded in one’s life and change each person in the friendship, shaping personal identities, tastes, political beliefs, and even how individuals perceive their bodies.