Between Two Kingdoms

After a year of maintenance chemotherapy, Suleika goes to an appointment believing it will be her last, only to learn that she needs nine more months of treatment. The nurse apologizes that she wasn’t made aware of this. There is no question that she will do more chemotherapy because she wants to survive, but she also wants the treatments to be over. When she gets home, she tells Will. He holds her and comforts her, but she isn’t sure what he is thinking.

A week later, Will tells her that he needs a longer break to focus on himself, and he is going to California for a few months to visit his parents and his friends. He says, “Couples take space all the time. [...] I think this could be really good for us” (172). Suleika is shocked and angry. She resents him for not seeing how much she needs him as her caregiver. She asks him if he is leaving because of the chemotherapy; he says no, and she presses to know why he is leaving. He says, “Between your cancer treatment and your career, you take up a lot of space in this relationship” (173). This is the first time she has heard Will articulate his experience in this way.