Before We Were Yours

Memory is a potent force in the book. The loss of memory is a fixation at the beginning, especially for Avery who mourns Grandma Judy’s failing memory and worries that without her memories, their relationship will deteriorate. Instead, what she finds is that Grandma Judy’s memory loosens its grip and she is constantly adrift between past and present, between concealed memories and the past she lived in the open as part of her public persona. Grandma Judy shares some memories with Avery, those she can recall or those she lets slip when dementia takes over and she forgets who she is speaking with. Other memories, especially about her sisters and her birth parents, Avery has to collect for her grandmother and offer to her as a way to keep her moored to reality and to her family in present day.

Memory is vital to May too—the memory of her life as Rill and of each of her siblings, including those she never saw again. In her old age and in the nursing home, she is surrounded by photos that connect her to the long-ago life of Rill on

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