Before I Die

Before I Die is a young adult novel by Jenny Downham published in 2007. The narrator is Tessa, a 16-year-old British girl who has terminal leukemia. The novel’s title refers to the things that Tessa would like to experience and accomplish before she dies: having sex, taking drugs, and breaking the law.

Plot Summary

Tessa lives with her patient and devoted father and her younger brother Cal; her mother, who left the family when Tessa was twelve, lives in a separate apartment. Tessa’s list of things she’d like to do before death is her way of behaving like a typical rebellious teenager despite her illness. She keeps the list in her bedside drawer so that her father will not see it.

Nevertheless, Tessa’s plans are complicated by the needs of her family and friends, and by her own illness. Her first time having sex, with a local boy named Jake whom she meets in a nightclub, is a disappointment, and she is later humiliated when she learns that Jake knows about her illness.

Meanwhile, her best friend Zoey has paired off with Jake’s friend and roommate Scott, a short-lived romance that results in Zoey getting pregnant. Zoey’s pregnancy estranges her from her own family, but also focuses and settles her.