Before I Die

Tessa is the narrator and main character of this novel. While she is dying of leukemia, she is also in many ways a typical 16-year-old girl, who craves the sorts of outsized experiences that many teenagers crave. She wants to be famous, to travel to exotic places, and to go on shopping sprees. Like many teenagers, she is frustrated and bewildered by the limitations of the people around her. She clashes with her protective father and bickers with her younger brother Cal, who doesn’t fully understand the import of her terminal illness. The two main female figures in Tessa’s life, meanwhile—her mother and her best friend Zoey—are rebellious and self-centered, alternating drawing her into their orbits and pushing her away.

As Tessa grows frailer, she accepts the limitations of her own life: Rather than searching for a more glamorous existence, she finds solace in the people around her. At the same time, she finds herself drifting away from direct experience, often observing her friends and family as though she were already dead. Tessa’s resilience in overcoming this premature self-distancing is her strength. Before she dies, she reconnects with her loved ones, embracing empathy for their own struggles and seeking to keep them united even after her passing.