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“When we were together, no one picked on either of us because we had each other’s back. They knew that mild-mannered Lew wouldn’t back down from a fight if anyone threatened Johnny. As far as both of us were concerned, we were each other’s brother. Color didn’t matter.”
Abdul-Jabbar reminisces about his early friendship with his best friend Johnny, who was white. This passage helps the author explain that in his very early childhood, he lived in a diverse housing project in New York City where he did not feel defined by his race. His description of his close and brotherly relationship with Johnny gives the reader context for understanding the magnitude of Johnny’s betrayal later in their friendship.
“I fell in love with Westerns not just because there was a lot of action, from gunfights to Indian attacks to train robberies, but because I loved the idea of a frontier where people from any background could start over with a clean slate and become who they wanted to be, not who everyone expected them to be. It appealed to the part of me that was frustrated with always being the polite, well-mannered, obedient Good Boy.”
The author explains the early appeal of Western films, which was his favorite movie genre growing up. This quotation adds to the memoir’s theme of Embracing Racial Identity and Individuality as Abdul-Jabbar reveals that even as a child, he wanted to rebel against others’ expectations and create a new identity for himself. This passage also foreshadows the spiritual and personal transformation Abdul-Jabbar would experience later in life.
“The bruises healed, but I didn’t. Something deep inside me had broken. It’s an odd feeling to be among your people for the first time and be afraid of them. It made me feel completely alone. I had been abandoned by my parents and rejected by the one group that I thought would welcome me because we at least looked the same. But we weren’t the same at all. If I didn’t belong with them, where did I belong?”
In this passage, Abdul-Jabbar recounts his traumatic experience of being bullied by his fellow classmates at Holy Providence Boarding School. Compounded with his fractured relationship with his parents, this experience challenged his sense of belonging and left him lonely, since he was mistreated by Black classmates. The experience of being singled out and alone later inspires him to develop his own sense of individuality and seek out companions who share his ethics and values.
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