Barking to the Choir

A homie named Mike, who has become a pro storyteller as a result of his work with Homeboy Industries, provides the framing for this chapter. He once gave Father Boyle a public speaking tip: “You have to pepper your talk...with self-defecating humor” (91). Boyle uses this anecdote to state this chapter is about humility: 

Not the kind that requires ‘self-defecating,’ a beating up of oneself until one’s esteem is leveled beyond recognition. Rather, it is the humility that can lead to a peaceful surrender and a pervasive sense of gratitude. It is the natural terrain of connection with one another, and how we are to arrive at a place of cherishing in kinship. It is, as they say in business, not a ‘downsizing’ but a ‘right-sizing’ (92).

A homie named Joshua “wants to coin a catchphrase like those made famous on television” (92). One of his favorite answers to the question “Why didn’t THAT take you to THAT place?” is “If you’re humble, you’ll never stumble” (92). To this day, Boyle uses this expression to soothe himself. In another story, Boyle watches as a homie, too drunk at the annual Homeboy Industries picnic, punches another in the mouth. Boyle finds it moving and remarkable to watch men literally turn the other cheek in such scenarios. 

Boyle states there are ample opportunities to be reminded of his own smallness as his work unfolds. He offers the story of a child he met who read his first book Tattoos on the Heart, then refused to believe he was the author. “It is liberating to be brought back to one’s insignificance,” he writes (95). 

Boyle believes society still must rid itself of the belief that some people are more important, valuable, or worthy than others. He offers an anecdote about former Vice President Al Gore’s visit to Homeboy Industries to prove this point. One of the homies, Freddy, was not allowed to meet the then vice president because Freddy kicked the shins of the police officer who arrested him. A secret service agent told Boyle he simply would not allow this “scumbag” to be photographed next to the vice president, and Boyle called the White House to complain—to no avail. Freddy, for his part, simply told Boyle not to worry about it: “I kinda didn’t think I’d be allowed to go, anyway,” he said (97). For Boyle, this was another occasion to use the maxim “If you’re humble, you’ll never stumble” (97). 

Boyle also tells a story of former President Barack Obama graciously exchanging words with himself and a few homies—all of whom were former gang members. For Boyle, even the commander-in-chief, “the most powerful man on earth” is “not more important than the homies whose hands he shook” (99). 

Boyle also thinks not taking oneself too seriously aids in development of humility. To bolster this point, he supplies many stories about being snubbed or subjected to light humiliation. In one, an airline accidentally issues him a card reading “Fat Gregory Boyle” because it abbreviated the title “Father” (100). In another, a homie tells him, “Your reputation exceeds you” (101). 

Boyle offers a story about Larry David, the creator of the television show Curb Your Enthusiasm. Once, when David went to Yankee Stadium for his birthday, his image was projected on the jumbotron and the entire stadium sang happy birthday to him. But after the game, one man decided to tell David that he sucked. David became fixated on this one negative comment, despite the stadium’s worth of praise he just received. Boyle asserts it is a common human tendency to become thusly fixated on the negative. 

In Boyle’s own experience, a woman once took him aside during a ceremony in which he received a prestigious award. “I hate you...My son was killed by a gang member. I have nothing but hate for you and your organization, and I always will,” she told him (105). Although he was shocked speechless, he took it as a lesson not to take such things personally. For Boyle

…humility returns the center of gravity to the center. It addresses the ego clinging, which supplies oxygen to our suffering. It calls for a light grasp. For the opposite of clinging is not letting go but cherishing. This is the goal of the practice of humility (106).

Boyle ends the chapter with an anecdote about a homie named Andres. One night when Andres was walking home from King Taco, he decided to drape his favorite sweatshirt over a man sleeping on a bench, who did not even stir from his slumber. Andres didn’t want his fellow homies to think he was telling this story in order to garner praise: “I’m tellin’ ya all this cuz I know that bench” (107). For Boyle, this action demonstrated Andres finding “his true height”: “The ego found its place so that it could rest in union with another, on a familiar bench” (107).