Bad Feminist

Gay reflects on niche dating sites and how the Internet affords people the opportunity to feel less alone in their interests. While she often thinks about connection, loneliness, community, and belonging, she hasn’t done a lot of dating, online or in general, and she prefers to date people who are different from her because she finds it more interesting.

The reflection on dating leads to a reflection on television programming. While Gay doesn’t watch a lot of BET (Black Entertainment Television) because she finds the programming low quality, she understands why Black people gravitate towards BET: They and other people of color are often erased and/or stereotyped on other networks. Gay posits that BET fails to represent the full spectrum of Black experiences, portraying Black success only as being a professional athlete or a music artist (or being romantically connected to either).

Gay recalls working as the advisor for the Black Student Association during graduate school. The experience helped her understand why few Black faculty members are interested in advising Black students. Nevertheless, she maintains that this is the duty of Black academics. Her experience with her own students was both respectful and teasing, though they found her demanding because she insisted on their excellence.