Autobiography Of A Face

After her operation, and after her hair starts to fall out, Lucy begins to experience bullying and taunting “both from strangers and from the very boys whom [she had] once regarded as friends” (106). She experiences direct insults about her being “the ugliest girl […]ever seen” (124), as well as stares and whispers from children and adults alike. She endeavors to ignore this, recognizing that “their comments [are] meant to impress each other more than harm [her]” (105). However, the insults start to affect her dramatically. Most significantly, they profoundly shape Lucy’s perception of herself. Immediately following the operation, Lucy only looks at herself “with a preoccupied preadolescent view” (104) without judgment and criticism of her appearance. For a while she remains “blissfully unaware” (6) of how her appearance marks her as different. Eventually, however, she learns “the language of paranoia” (6) and becomes convinced that she is “so ugly” (145) that she deserves to be mocked and is entirely unlovable. This view of herself results in her “changing, becoming more fearful” (145) and leads to her spending much of her life depressed and desperate to feel wanted and attractive.