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Ari is the narrator of the novel. He is a 17-year-old Latino boy growing up in El Paso, Texas in the late 1980s. He has spent most of his life feeling on the outside of everything—outside of his family, his school community, and, at times, himself. He is self-critical and humble, often doubting his abilities and brushing off others’ praises of him. A deeply sensitive and introspective person, Ari’s guardedness makes it difficult for him to connect with others easily. Though Ari has “beautiful words living inside of [himself],” he struggles to “push those words out so that other people could see they were there” (56).
In the hopes of finding an effective means of expression, Ari turns to journal writing. Writing proves to be a valuable tool for him, as he often feels as though he has “things inside [himself] that [he has] to say, and they are things [he] need[s] to say to [him]self” (125). Deep into his writing journey, Ari realizes that writing is not only cathartic but a way to get to know himself better. Writing down his thoughts and feelings—those that would otherwise go unsaid—makes Ari feel that he is “mapping out [his] own journey” in life (140).
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