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On her last day in Antigua, Annie wakes up thinking about her own name. She is 17 and is about to sail to England, where she will study to become a nurse. She doesn’t want to go to England or become a nurse, but she would do anything to avoid staying in Antigua. She lies in bed, looking around her room at the things that used to be important to her, and she hopes never to see any of them again. She remarks that her father’s name is Alexander and that he is 35 years older than her mother, who is also called Annie. He has two children who are older than Annie’s mother. He is now sickly, and her mother must devote herself to nursing him. Seeing this, Annie is determined never to marry.
Annie sees that her parents are together while she is set apart from them, but she knows that it is she who has changed, not they. They are the same as they ever were. She wonders why she never realized what a “hypocrite” her mother is; her mother has always told Annie how much she loves her and cannot live without her, all the while slowly arranging for their ultimate separation. However, Annie’s parents do not know that she secretly plans to never return.
Annie’s parents treat the day like a holiday. Annie bathes and dresses, knowing that her mother had the obeah woman bless her jewelry and underclothes to protect her from evil. The family eats a big Sunday-style breakfast, and her parents feel festive and cheerful about Annie’s future. As they eat and talk, Annie thinks about how her father’s false teeth sound like a horse’s hooves clicking together and how her mother’s mouth moves like a donkey’s. She smiles but feels disgusted, and when her mother mentions that Annie will probably write to them soon to tell them she is to be married, Annie cannot hide her abhorrence. Her parents are stunned into silence. Many people come to say goodbye, including Gwen, who has become silly and is unable to speak without giggling. Annie is embarrassed that she ever loved Gwen, who is now engaged. Annie feels as though her old friend has shown her the cliff from which she plans to jump, hoping that she will survive. Annie wishes her luck.
As Annie’s family walks to the jetty, she notes that it feels as though they are walking through the different stages of her life, past the homes of people and businesses she has known, which are now part of the “dustheap” of her past. They pass the church where she attended Brownie meetings, the bank where she opened her first savings account, the doctor’s office, the houses of old friends, and the library, and Annie recalls her memories of each. When they reach the jetty, Annie feels a little hollow, hot, and strange. The thought that she will never see any of this again gives her great pleasure and some pain, too. The launch takes her and her parents to the ship, and she realizes how tightly she is gripping their hands. Her father kisses her goodbye, though he says nothing, and her mother begins to cry, saying that she will always be Annie’s mother and that this will always be her home. As the launch returns her parents to the jetty, Annie’s mother waves until Annie can no longer see her. Annie goes to her cabin to lie down, and she listens to the waves lapping against the side of the ship. They sound like a vessel being emptied of its liquid contents.
Though Annie indirectly shared her mother’s name prior to this chapter, her father has remained unnamed in the text until this final chapter. By allowing them to remain nameless for so long, Kincaid suggests that until now, Annie did not perceive her parents as having distinct identities beyond their parental roles. As a child, Annie could only think of them in the context of their connection to her. Now that she is leaving, however, she directly names them both, as if to suggest that when she leaves them behind, they will become Alexander and Annie John rather than her mother and father. Annie used to see herself as the center of her world, but upon leaving Antigua and recognizing that her parents have lived lives and made choices that have nothing to do with her, Annie finally acknowledges that she is not the center of her parents’ world.
Despite this unspoken insight, Annie’s continuing belief in her mother’s “hypocri[sy]” indicates that she still does not understand the ways in which she may have misinterpreted her mother’s behavior. Given the care with which her parents have prepared for her departure, they clearly love and take pride in their daughter. Annie is right that it is she who has changed while they have stayed the same. Annie’s parents have raised her the best way they know, and for her mother, this has meant preparing Annie to be a woman who can live her own productive and respectable life in the world. Although Annie sees her mother’s actions as the result of hypocrisy, the broader narration implies that her mother is merely doing what most parents aim to do: love their children and prepare them to be successful in the world. Annie is upset that her mother would say that she “could hardly live without [Annie], while at the same time proposing and arranging separation after separation, including this one” (133). Annie doesn’t see that her departure is not so dissimilar to her mother’s departure from her home in Dominica years ago.
Inherent within the tone of Annie’s departure is the fact that she has made many of her decisions in opposition to what her mother has done or urged her to do. Thus, Annie’s decision to never marry is the direct result of observing her mother’s life as a married woman. The main duty of Annie’s mother has been to take care of Annie’s father, with a secondary, temporary focus on Annie herself. Still relatively young, Annie’s mother must now be a nursemaid to her husband even as she fends off the anger of the other women who bore his children. These women live in social disgrace and are angry that they are mothers but not wives, while Annie’s mother feels that she must protect herself and her daughter from their hostility. Neither position—that of unmarried mothers who live in disgrace nor that of married women whose duty is to serve their husbands—appeals to Annie. Thus, when she learns that Gwen is engaged, it is as though her friend is rushing to her own death, believing all will be well. Marriage is, to Annie, “a high point from which [Gwen] [is] going to jump” because (137), for women in this setting, marriage is a kind of death: the destruction of a woman’s identity beyond that of wife and mother.
The final lines of the novel reflect The Normalcy of Youthful Rebellion, and the simile that concludes the novel reflects Annie’s realization that her adolescent conflicts, her misunderstanding of her parents, and even her desire to leave home are not uncommon experiences. As she compares the sound of the waves lapping against the ship to the sound of a “vessel filled with liquid [that has been] placed on its side and now [is] slowly emptying out” (148), it is significant that Kincaid chooses such a mundane detail to conclude the narrative. This is not a dramatic storm or startling blue crystal waters that stretch as far as the eye can see; nothing so monumental or wonderful happens. Annie’s departure from her home may feel monumental and unique to her, but the story itself is as common as a pitcher of water. The changes to her relationship with her mother felt immense when they occurred, as did her period and the end of her friendships with the Red Girl and Gwen, but all of these experiences are as common as that of a young woman leaving home for the first time.
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By Jamaica Kincaid