All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things

In “Mushrooms,” Fulghum recounts the summer when he was 13 and visited his Aunt Violet in Washington, D.C. During this visit, he was tasked with preparing mushrooms for a dinner, despite his personal disgust for them. His cooking of the mushrooms, which to him suggested only dirt and decay, forces him to confront his discomfort with the unfamiliar. Fulghum uses the mushroom as a metaphor to explore themes of life, death, and renewal. He reflects on how mushrooms, as agents of decay, also contribute to the cycle of life by breaking down organic matter and fostering new growth.

Fulghum humorously proposes that citizenship, much like political office, should have term limits. He suggests that every 12 years, citizens should requalify for their status, undergoing evaluations like those required for naturalization. These evaluations would involve tests of competency in English, along with financial and legal vetting. By satirizing the bureaucratic process involved in maintaining citizenship, Fulghum critiques both the complexities of immigration policies and the passive way in which many treat their citizenship. The essay uses exaggerated scenarios to highlight the often-unquestioned lifelong status of citizenship, compared to the temporary nature of political terms.