After I Do

The novel uses Lauren and Ryan’s marital complexities to explore the various ways in which marital separation can alter each individual’s understanding of relationships and self-identity. At the start of the novel, Lauren and Ryan’s marriage has been “full of tension, a tension that is only relieved by saying good-bye or good night” (4). Their decision to separate is therefore inspired by their desire to understand what they want from each other and who they are when they are apart. For Lauren, this prospect will require her to become comfortable with solitude for “the first time in [her] life” (87). She initially hopes that she will “instantly realize that [she can’t] live without him, and [he’ll] realize he [can’t] live without [her]” (102-103), but by expressing this childish hope, she proves that she does not yet realize the deeper lessons that both she and Ryan must learn during their time apart. Because Lauren and Ryan have been together since they were in college, they have very little experience of building independent lives for themselves. The novel implies that early, hasty marriages may complicate the issue of personal identity. Thus, as the novel unfolds, it is only when Lauren learns to endure her strange new solitude that she finally gains a measure of