A River in Darkness: One Man's Escape from North Korea

“If I remain in North Korea, I’ll die of starvation. It’s as simple as that. At least this way there’s a chance—a chance I’ll make it, that I will be able to rescue my family or at least help them somehow. My children have always been my reason for living. I’m no use to them if I’m dead. […] If I was going to have any chance of helping them, I had to leave while I still had the strength to escape. Or die trying.”

The memoir’s prologue disrupts chronology, plunging into the heart of Masaji’s escape. This immediate immersion heightens tension and foreshadows the extreme circumstances that compel his actions. Though not delving into details, Masaji highlights his decision was not self-serving, but rather fueled by a profound sense of responsibility towards his family. The prologue exposes his desperation, foreshadowing the events that ultimately led to this moment. This quote captures the theme of Desperate Measures in Desperate Times.

“You don’t choose to be born. You just are. And your birth is your destiny, some say. I say the hell with that. And I should know. I was born not just once but five times. And five times I learned the same lesson. Sometimes in life, you have to grab your so-called destiny by the throat and wring its neck.”

Masaji’s rejection of predetermined fate introduces the motif of rebirth. He challenges the fatalistic mindset imposed by North Korea’s totalitarian regime, defying the oppressive forces that have limited his agency. The metaphor of being “born five times” suggests a series of transformative experiences that have reshaped his identity and worldview. Each “birth” represents a pivotal moment of renewal, a shedding of his old self, and an opportunity for change.

“My grandmother once said to me, ‘Koreans are barbarians.’ I loved her, but I resented her remark. Though I felt Japanese—and felt it with complete conviction—I was half-Korean […] I couldn’t help but agree with them. I had a strong sense of revulsion toward my father, who certainly lived up to the barbaric reputation of Koreans whenever he beat my mother. […] it was hardly surprising that I, like my grandmother, grew to dislike Koreans.”

Masaji's internal conflict surrounding his Korean heritage highlights the theme of Belonging in a Divided World. His grandmother's prejudice reveals an early exposure to xenophobia in Japanese society, which shaped his identity. A sense of alienation and self-loathing, coupled with conflicted feelings towards his father, complicate this internal struggle.