66 pages • 2 hours read
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Part 6 opens with the tragic revelation that Willem, Malcolm, and Sophie all died in the car crash, sending shock waves through their large friend group. Chapter 1 is dominated by Jude’s immense grief and various attempts to cope with his new reality. He starts with magical thinking, pretending that Willem is merely away on a movie shoot and will be home in a few months. When he finds himself unable to perpetuate this fantasy any longer, he works constantly during the weeks and self-medicates with pills on weekends. Ironically, he feels too numb to need the release of cutting anymore; Willem’s greatest wish for him has finally come true, but only because of Willem’s absence.
Jude pours over Willem’s movies and pictures, reads old emails and letters from him, and even continues ordering the cologne Willem used to buy from Europe. He barely communicates with his friends and Harold and Julia because doing so is too painful. Although he recognizes it as an irrational feeling, he experiences intense hatred for JB, wishing that JB had died instead of Willem.
One Sunday, Richard invites Jude downstairs to his apartment for Jude’s birthday; Jude, who did not remember it was his birthday, tries to make excuses, but Richard insists.
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