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55 pages 1 hour read

A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance

Nonfiction | Essay Collection | Adult | Published in 2021

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Movement 5, Essay 21Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Movement 5: “Callings to Remember”

Movement 5, Essay 21 Summary: “On Times I Have Forced Myself Not to Dance”

The final essay considers what it means to want to die and what it means to want to live. Instead of focusing on the causes of trauma and anxiety, Abdurraqib describes how to overcome this feeling. When he went through a depressive and suicidal episode, his brother came to support him. While being realistic, Abdurraqib offers gratitude for support systems, hope for future possibilities, and belief in the power of stillness.

Movement 5, Essay 21 Analysis

The Movement’s title emphasizes the importance of memory and remembrance due to the historical and ongoing erasure and invisibility of Black people. While earlier essays consider funerals and documentation, this essay considers the importance of remembering while alive. Abdurraqib gives two examples of attempted suicide, focusing on the support people experience afterward. We must remember not just historical legacies and those already gone, but those in our lives that need support. Remembering becomes an act of affection.

This essay’s title repeats and slightly deviates from the opening pieces of previous Movements. In the first four Movements, dancing represents artistic expression and the performance of identity. Here, however, Abdurraqib rejects the expectation that he dance, refusing to perform as white American culture demands. Unlike the first four Movements, this movement does not have any other essays.

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