A Conversation with My Father

In the second version of the story that the writer tells, she notes that the boy founds a periodical after he begins doing drugs: “He was in fact hopeful, an ideologue and successful converter […] Seeking a wider audience, using important connections, he drummed into Lower Manhattan newsstand distribution a periodical called Oh! Golden Horse!” (Paragraph 29). The name of the publication is significant because “horse” is a slang term for heroin and because it references the story of the Hebrews worshipping a golden calf—a false god they turned to while Moses was on Mount Sinai. The periodical is a symbol of delusion and denial; the boy not only refuses to see the dangers of drug use but also makes it into a kind of religion that he preaches to others. In this sense, the periodical reflects Paley’s interest in storytelling. It also lends some weight to the father’s accusation that his daughter is simply refusing to face the truth. In this case, language is clearly being used as a means of obscuring an uncomfortable reality.